I'm in a race with time; I'm always loosing.

Inspired by the film The Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, one of my friends - also a senior in college - has drafted a bucket list of his own for his final semester as an undergraduate. For those that have not seen the film (myself included), the term "bucket list" may be a mystery. A bucket list, as defined in the film, is a list of all the things a person really wants to do before kicking the bucket. My friend took the term for himself to describe the list he is making of things he wants to do before he graduates.

Inspired by the film and my friend alike, I too have been pondering these next and final few months of my undergraduate career. Before writing this post, I caught myself thinking of things that happened during my freshman year. And then I caught myself admitting: "Things really have changed. They've changed a lot. I've changed a lot. And no one and no thing is going back to the way it was before."

Sometimes this type of realization is welcome and accepted without plea. But tonight was unwelcome and uneasy to accept. It's just hard to believe that this is really it; that after this semester, I will be done and gone. It is a strange thought. I don't really feel as if I've accomplished much of substance, and that frightens/disappoints me. I don't like to think about how easily I can and will change. I changed so much these past four years. I am a malleable creature, and I don't like it.

In addition to that of my friend, I have been drafting my own "bucket list" of sorts. It's not really a list, but rather a kind of mental statement that I have adopted for myself and must diligently aspire to obtain and vivify.

I will not be done and gone. I will be done with and gone from college, but I will not be done and gone. There's so much more. I just have to remember that to find anything, one first has to look.