Headphones

I was reading my bible today, when I came across something that I thought was quite remarkable. So, fittingly, I will remark on it.

In 1 Samuel, a young boy named Samuel is given unto the LORD and lives in His presence in the temple under the guidance of Eli, the high priest and descendant of Aaron. Samuel is an apprentice to Eli, taking part in rituals and wearing the ceremonial ephod. But it is not until later that the LORD even reveals himself to Samuel. In fact, when the LORD finally does call on the apprentice, Samuel does not even recognize that it is God, thinking that Eli had called him. It is not until Eli teaches Samuel how to respond to the LORD's calling that Samuel can know what God has to say to him. The scripture says that Samuel did not yet know the LORD, even after living and growing in the temple and taking part in all the ritual and ceremony for all those years.

I have a really hard time recognizing the voice of LORD, despite any efforts (or the lack thereof) to do so. I have spent a lot of my life doing what I should do - according to many - to truly be in connection with God. Prayer journals, "Quiet Times" (complete with hip devotion stories marketed to teens), and reading my bible daily are just some of the many suggestions that have been hailed on me through various youth rallies, church camps, and teen-fueled Christian concerts/worship services.

Instead of getting the desired - and often promised - results of finally experiencing God in a true and intimate way, I just became frustrated, self-deprecating, and entirely jaded. But I think I'm finally getting it, and this is what I'm learning: these things are good. They're just not good for everybody all the time.

For me, the few times that I feel that I have truly "connected" with God have been some of the most organic experiences of my life. I just walked into it. I didn't summon God's spirit with my 15-minute quiet time at 6:00 AM, and I didn't pray a conversation into existence: I just felt it, knew it, did it. And these times were beautiful. They have been few and far between, but beautiful.

I think the mystery is in the response. Samuel knew all there was to know about the LORD, but did not actually know the LORD. He knew the things to say, do, and wear, but he did not even recognize the voice of the deliverer! Again, it was not until he knew how to respond that Samuel could actually know the LORD.

How do we respond? I learned to respond with more and more stuff: a new youth camp, numerous mission trips, church three-to-four times a week, daily quiet times--the latest and greatest of what contemporary Christian youth culture had to offer.

How did Samuel learn to respond? "Speak, LORD, your servant hears."

How are we supposed to hear with all the noise?